Maybe it’s me but I keep seeing these movies about back doors. Today at the library I saw “My Back Door is Open” and “Back Door MILFs” in the same row of movies. Alphabetically I’m sure it’s correct but…

Why doesn’t somebody fix the fucking front fucking door for these fucking sluts? Hello?

Master P’s Theatre?

Would be hilarious. Imagine watching “I Got the Hook Up” and “I’m Bout’ It” on PBS.

Eventually, Master P he would finish those unfinished movie projects like “I’m ‘Bout It, ‘Bout It”, “I’m All About ‘Bout It, ‘Bout It”, “I’m All ‘Bout Bein’ ‘Bout My Latest Movie About Being ‘Bout It, ‘Bout It” and “Bouters 7 – What’sis all’Bout Again?”.

I guess this probably won’t ever happen. Hollywood racism is alive and well. How rude.

My girlfriend is amazing. She doesn’t tell me what to do but today she told me not to do something. I sort of listened.

She told me not to cheat on her. I kept sort of listening but there was this piece of dirt on the ground that looked like a squirrel. I tried to frame the squirrel with my hands and eyes as if I was some sort of artsy artist. It was a masterpiece in my mind. I guess that like art it was impossible to describe in words. Thinking back I can only tell you that it was an awesome piece of dirt. What did I do? She looked at me and I grabbed the piece of dirt and told her it was a squirrel. A really abstract squirrel. It looked like a piece of dirt. It was a piece of dirt. I was busted. I went back to the original conversation.

“I’ve never been able to cheat on anyone when I didn’t know the answers. Wait, is this a fucking test?”

I don’t have alot of time so I guess what I do is technically Fasturbation.

Depending on your tastes, it may be appropriate to describe the smell of farts as the overall quality of a band.

ex. “My farts smell the way Aerosmith sounds. Almost Exactly.”

That would be “Like shit.”