I’m not quite sure why people are homeless. I always see those little cemetary houses.

It sure doesn’t look like anyone lives there. Especially since there’s no mailbox.

Sorry I haven’t been writing lately. I’m at home on some sort of vacation during the Christian Holidays.

For some reason the topic of Yoga came up about 1.4 x 10 ex7 times since i’ve come back. The topic sort of irritates me since one of my ex-girlfriends was a Yoga Nazi. I really am not against it at all but anytime the word “Yoga” comes up, I trash it involuntary. I do that idiotic thing that guys do and say “That shit is for fags” only after I get a response to my previous question of “How is that Activia yogurt anyways?”. Lately it’s been working for me to very little fanfare but who cares since I think it’s funny. Honestly I’m just being a dick back from hearing about your sophisticated Indian hobby that simply doesn’t impress me. I have a solution and here’s it is. Instead of saying Yoga, tell me you’re going to stretch and breathe for about an hour instead.

Next time you wanna try to sound super smart, we can play trivial pursuit or jeopardy like civilized Americans. Or Jenga if you think that Yoga is really working for you.

If I start a radio station, it’s going to have the call letters of KROK. This way I can name it Crock Radio. You might ask what’s gonna play on this station, but who really gives a flying. This is a comedy blog, not a music blog. The only reason I want to name it is so that I can come up with slogans and jingles for it. I think there are a bunch of great slogans for this one.

“98.5 FM, The KROK. Put us on in the morning and we’ll cook you all day long.”

“The only radio station that isn’t a complete KROK, 98.5 FM.”

“All the other radio stations can suck my KROK 98.5 FM”

“KROK, not plural like those faggy ass foam shoes. 98.5 FM.”

If you have one that I missed, please put in the comment section. Thanks for listening to the KROK!

I took a lunch break and I did a quick analysis of the toxins in cigarettes. Believe it or not, there are two. Smoke, and air.

Both are very toxic. I’d quit.

I know all of you our there are sick of trying to find your dog. Especially when you lose him. I know you can’t be happy with the current methods of tracking your dog because they’re cruel to animals. A tattoo? Get real, that’s cruel. A RFID chip? That is even more cruel! Welcome to the 21st century with the Shepherd Brando Canine Brandin’ Iron.

With our new branded dog branding system, you will never lose your dog. Our patented dog branding irons are significantly different than cow branding irons so you will never accidentally bring a cow home instead of your dog or bring the wrong dog home accidentally that you had mistaken for a cow. Talk about piece of mind.

With Shepherd Brando’s Canine Brandin’ Iron set, we give you 2 iron through pitchin’ iron. So don’t be thinkin’ that you can’t brand a chihuahua and a wolfhound in the same session. You can with the new Shepherd Brando Canine Brandin’ Iron.

If you’re looking for a dog tracking system, email me.

Me - What the fuck are you listening to?

Friend - NPR. It’s good dude.

Me - So is ice cream, but it’s not like i’m gonna go out and listen to it.

Be sure to donate! They accept new or used!

I know it’s a bit sick, but I encourage you to donate to the real Toys for Tots.

It’s a great cause.

When you say you want a fluffernutter, you should make sure you’re not at a porno shoot.

You won’t get a sandwich with fluff and peanut butter if that’s what you were asking for.

I’m not one for promoting TV shows, but you really gotta see the new season of Desperate Janitors.

If you own a business and you’re going to pay an employee “under the table”, make sure you tell them it’s with money.

Seriously, i’ve paid people in cock before.