Cheating Summarized.

My girlfriend is amazing. She doesn’t tell me what to do but today she told me not to do something. I sort of listened.

She told me not to cheat on her. I kept sort of listening but there was this piece of dirt on the ground that looked like a squirrel. I tried to frame the squirrel with my hands and eyes as if I was some sort of artsy artist. It was a masterpiece in my mind. I guess that like art it was impossible to describe in words. Thinking back I can only tell you that it was an awesome piece of dirt. What did I do? She looked at me and I grabbed the piece of dirt and told her it was a squirrel. A really abstract squirrel. It looked like a piece of dirt. It was a piece of dirt. I was busted. I went back to the original conversation.

“I’ve never been able to cheat on anyone when I didn’t know the answers. Wait, is this a fucking test?”

One Response to “Cheating Summarized.”

  1. Barry MaƱana Says:

    Proper job mate!

    I’m in bed wif the better half. She’s stacking the Zzzzzds, and she kicks orf like talking in her sleep – she just keeps repeating ‘yes, yes, yes’ all the time. Nuffink ‘arry met Sally like – she’s just like agreeing with somefink.

    So I’m thinking, ‘this is interesting’, so I snuggle up, wary not to drag her up from the arms of Morpheus, but I’m well piqued wif curiosity.

    So I say, in me best dulcet tones,’that’s all well and good, darling, but what is the question?’ and she doesn’t miss a bladdy beat, and says, ‘that is the question’.

    A total spunky-mind fuck! Of course, not an iota of it over breakfast.

    Totally banjaxed on that one, mate!

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