Garbagepacking.
So I was on my way out of the house today and I found a football sized tape player in the garbage. I picked it up because I could use a random radio and I have alot of tapes. I felt that it was heavy so I tried to turn on the radio. I imagined there were batteries inside. There were batteries inside but they seemed to be dead. I opted to keep it with me on the way over to the bar. I figured it did still work since there was a fresh Perry Como tape in it. Not to mention that if someone was listening to Perry Como, they probably just died and their obituary survivors just cleaned the house and threw it out regardless of condition.
This is only part of the story. The real story happened when I filled it full of new batteries and it actually worked. Five dollars later I played Perry Como until it hit the end of the tape. That really pissed me off so I threw it into the East River.
You might wonder where this story is going. I sure don’t know why the fuck I’m writing it. I know it’s not human ashes or anything, but don’t let someone throw part of you into the East River. Even if it’s just an Emerson boom-box with one of your old Perry Como tapes in it. Obviously a disgrace to whoever died, but it’s still a compliment to Perry Como.
Prolly his 427th tape in the East River to date.