ATF Darts.
From me, the person who brought you such great games as Master Beaters and Pancreas Hammer, comes another game that is fun for the whole family (yes, even the dog). The overwhelming response has led me to divulge one of my personal favorite games. Get ready to play.
Ingredients:
1 Dartboard
3 Steel or Uranium Tipped Darts
2 Real Assholes
1 Semi-Asshole to Judge
1 Classic Elian Gonzales Picture (optional)
Directions:
Get a dartboard and at least 3 nice darts. Get the really nice darts because you’re going to need quality as you sequentially wreck them. Mount the dartboard on a wall with at least 10 feet of clearance on either side. 10 feet of left-right clearance even 10 feet from the wall. Get some space. When mounting the board, brick walls are preferred because you can wreck the wall trying to hang it and wreck the darts when you miss the board. It’s what we call a real “twofer”. Now that you sold your apartment to buy an abandoned brick-lined warehouse specifically to play this game, you’re ready to play this game.
ATF Darts is just like playing any of your regular dart games, but you need to do an ATF style move before you throw the dart. You might wonder what an ATF style move is, but as per the manual, it reads like this.
Official ATF style moves:
Forward somersault
360 degree turn around an door frame
Wearing really dark sunglasses
Making a huge alcohol, tobacco or firearm bust (in the same room)
Breaking down a door with one of those log shaped door slammer things
Working for the government in a manner that might make one think you’re an ATF agent
These moves don’t necessarily have to be real. You can act them out. The only thing that is important is you’re having a good time. Not to mention, this game is all about being safe. The winner is the one who wins whatever game you were playing. That’s the hard way to play. We usually just play until someone hits the dartboard.
I really like this game because I like throwing darts and pretending that I’m an ATF agent.
If you end up playing, let me know. If you end up hitting someone with a dart, let me know that too. Comments are open.