I’m at a party and this guy says he’s a “Psychic” for Fortune 500 companies. I wish I could remember where I put his card but he predicted to me verbally that I would lose it. Like everything else I touched, I lost it. It’s out of my hands now.

I’ve decided to go after that exact guy’s job. My job as going to sleep for a shift in a bed at those same Fortune 500 Companies with the new title “Reality Assurance Guy”. Wait no, “Director Vice President of Wake The Fuck Up Because I Changed Your Mind About Something That Wasn’t Important Because You Been Had, So I Will Just Keep The Money My Cellphone Number is 222-FUCK-YOU, Call Me”. That will work as a good safe job title and of course it’s easy to remember.

I’ll mail you my napkin paper resume. At some point at least I need to figure out how to load my Canon Bubblejet BJ100 with Napkin Paper. If you have it in 8.5 x 11 with a picnic type print put it on E-Bay and i’ll buy it now.

Thanks dude.

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 25th, 2008 at 6:44 am and is filed under Comedy, Funny Ideas, Im a Retard, One Liners, Quick Laughs, Situational Humor, True Funny Stories, WTF Stuff, bvllets. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.