I just got back from a vacation on the beach. That’s why I haven’t written. You get into that beach bum mode and if wireless isn’t immediately accessable (right fucking there), i’m not going to be online.

We had a place on the beach. I mean like right on the shorefront so I could go on the patio and watch people on the beach walk by and do whatever. On the first day there wasn’t much going on except for some kids and a guy with a metal detector. Even though it was 11am, I immediately opened a bottle of beer and proceeded to down it. At 11:10 I opened another one and drank it. This went on about every ten minutes until I passed out at 1pm. I woke up at 6pm with an open raw almonds all over my chest and a cup full of bottlecaps. After finding my socks and my pants and my shirt I collected myself and figured out why I saved all these bottlecaps. I pulled the magic marker out of my bag and scribed “You Suck” on the bottom of each Corona bottlecap. I waited until about 11 o’clock and went out and buried them along the beach in front of my patio. I watched some more hockey and went tbed.

The next morning consisted of me making 3 filter bag coffees at 7am and letting them all sit in front of me. I normally don’t drink coffee but I didn’t want to fall asleep again or get up for more coffee so I had a table full of coffees. At about 9:30am the guy with the metal detector came out. About 5 minutes later he found the first bottlecap. He looked at it for about 15 seconds then put it in his pocket. Not even 5 minutes after that he found the next one and looked around. You could tell in his face he couldn’t believe it. I was in my patio about 100 feet away laughing my balls off on the inside. In almost exactly 5 minute intervals (I timed it) he found 6 more of my bottlecaps. I have never had so much fun by myself in my life. If there was anything I should have videotaped, it was that. Since he didn’t want to find them again he was keeping them in his pocket. The guy proceeded back to the beach and threw them all in the trash. He looked at them before he threw them in the garbage and shook his head. I did it again 4 days later only to watch him finding one and giving up.

I bet this was not how he planned to spend his retirement.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 30th, 2008 at 11:22 pm and is filed under WTF Stuff, Im a Retard, Quick Laughs, True Funny Stories, Comedy, Situational Humor, bvllets. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.