Consequentially.

I called my doctor the other day because I threw up blood. I was super scared. I transcripted our conversation for posterity.

Doctor – Hi, i’m Doctor Rasahanajanighandisinghanandanan, what seems to be the matter?

Me – Hi Dr. Rasahanajanighandisinghanandanan, i’m bvllets. You’ll be pleased to know i’m not worried about my erectal ability and that I threw up coagulated blood tonight. I’m really scared, do you think I have an ulcer or something?

Doctor – Sounds pretty serious, have you had anything happen like this before?

Me – I’ve puked, but not blood before.

Doctor – What have you done to change your diet?

Me – I don’t know if it’s my diet per-se, but I sacrificed a Vietnamese pot-bellied pig and drank its blood a bit earlier this evening.

Doctor – I see your problem so i’m gonna prescribe you 250 mg/day of Stopdoingthat. It’s a wide spectum anti-action pill that has minimal side effects that happen. Take it once a day and stop doing that. Consequentially I think this will prevent you from throwing up congealed blood.

Me – Thanks Dr., I don’t know what i’d sacrifice with or without you. (My cat)

Doctors, gotta love ‘em. (Pay them to love you so that you can have to love them.)




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