Dunkin Pumpkin Pies.
I made a few mistakes tonight. I usually do shit like that. Mostly when i’m hard up for something like uhm, masturbating. I know i’ve written about some great strokin’ lotions, but sometimes they’re not always available to use. When you grab your roommates pumpkin hand repair cream, don’t use it. I figured this out the hard way. I watched 18 seperate 30 second porn clips (I’m not paying for porn) before I realized I was super hungry for pumpkin pie. The hunger just happened to be for Mrs. Smith’s original. Not her personally, but Mrs Smith’s frozen pumpkin pie. I decided to wrap up the session and go to the store and get one. They’re inexpensive but I knew it was going to be delicious so I tipped the cashier. Don’t think I haven’t eaten whole ones before without tipping, I was feeling saucy. Not to stray, I cooked it exactly as shown on the box (the pumpkin box, not hers). I like to follow instructions and I know people have various tastes but seriously Mrs. Smith, you have to take into consideration that people may burn their dick while trying to pleasure themselves in your delicious pumpkin pie. Please, let’s cut the baking time down a few minutes if only for the people who want to have sex with your previously frozen delights. Seems reasonable.
Quality control is more than just a good tasting pie. I don’t know what kind of penis testing you have with that thing, but you might want to get some test subjects with less dongular callouses. Either that or move your testing facilities completely out of Turkmenistan. Outsourcing dongular testing doesn’t ensure accuracy or precision in international testing.
Anyways, I don’t care how good it was. I’m sensitive you know.
Happy Halloween.