I will never forget being a kid and having to hear all these bullshit stories flying out of everyones mouth. One of the best stories I ever heard was shortly after I went swimming in the public pool. We were probably about 11 and this conversation started just as we climbed the ladder and exited the pool. I wasn’t thinking about gash or cooties at that time so I was all ears. The conversation as I remember went like this.

Friend - They started putting this chemical in the pool you know. If you pee in the pool it turns red to tell the lifeguard that you did.

Me - *Uncomfortable pause, Eyebrow raise* I climbed the ladder to land. (It was basically one of those ORLY moments.)

Friend - One time I saw this girl pee in the pool and it turned all red in the water. It turned her pants and all the water around her pure blood red. I never told you because I wanted to know if you ever peed in the pool.

Pool pee chemicals? Come on. This is a complete lie. Even Snopes verifies it. There is no way that the idea is even partially feasible, but when you’re 11 years old, the moon is made of cheese and Apple IIe’s are great gaming consoles. Our friend did not know this at the time, and I doubt he ever will, but the thing was; we all peed in the pool. Unfortunately I hadn’t gone through puberty, so I didn’t have the pubes to call him a liar.

I also did not have the pubes to tell him that he swam in a pool with some broads period blood.

This entry was posted on Friday, October 5th, 2007 at 2:36 am and is filed under Comedy, Quick Laughs, True Funny Stories, bvllets. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.