Shooting Blanks.
Since my name is bvllets, I get alot of jokes about me “shooting blanks”. I’m not really amused at the futile pun they’ve just offered up, but what’s actually funny is when I ask them what it means. Ninety-eight percent of people will just look at you stupid for about 5 seconds before they even start to formulate what to say. It completely flips them into a defensive mode and you gotta just keep asking questions. It goes kinda like this.
Friend - That’s because bvllets is really shooting blanks! (Everyone Lol’s)
Me - Shooting blanks? What does that mean?
Friend - *Long Pause* What, shooting blanks?
Me - Yeah. What exactly does that mean?
Friend - It’s where you can’t get a girl pregnant cause your sperms dont swim.
Me - Are you sure that’s what it means? I would figure it would mean that i’m not shooting anything, not a mess with a bunch of lazy sperm in it. Think about what blanks actually are. You put them in a gun and they shoot nothing. You got a blank piece of paper. What’s on it? Nothing. Exactly.
Friend - *Another Long Pause* I guess it could be that too.
Me - You guess? What the fuck is this all about? How are you going to accuse me of something you’re not even sure what the fuck it is?
Friend - Ok fine, It could be either, they’re both technically blanks.
Me - So how do you suppose that would work? Let’s say you don’t shoot anything. Wouldn’t that hurt? Is it maybe going somewhere else in your body? Should I be worried? Should I see a doctor?
Friend - Dude, I was only kidding.
Me - Real funny dude. I could have something wrong with me and now you’re making tasteless jokes.
Friend - *Walks Away*
When they’re no longer in my sight, that’s when I start laughing. I win.