Some of my friends and I go out to the woods in Northeast Pennsylvania by the Delaware Water Gap to fish and professionally drink. We may or may not eat mushrooms. Even i’m not totally sure on that one. A day of sitting around that area leads one to wonder why we’re not seeing Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) all over the place. There has to be an explanation because everyone knows how substantial the Bigfoot population was in the Delaware Water Gap about 10 years ago. We tried to think if it could be politics, economics, human expansion, coyotes or some sort of virus that caused Bigfoot’s decline. 12 beers and 15 marlboros later, mit3 finally threw it out there.

“I think Bigfoot can auto-fellate.”

I didn’t realize how concise that statement was at that moment. I thought to myself, this is must be why we have never seen them in person. Bigfoot has no reason to seek out a Mrs. Bigfoot to plant his seed because he’s having fun getting off by himself. Has anyone ever seen a baby Bigfoot? When he’s not foraging for food or appearing in movies, he simply sits in a soft patch of pinetrees, puts his legs behind his head and blows himself into oblivion. Incidentally, it would also explain the strange noises I hear in the woods at night.

I gotta thank mit3 for the terseness of his statement. It really shined a great light on the dilemma that is the extinction of Bigfoot.

This entry was posted on Friday, August 24th, 2007 at 4:58 pm and is filed under Comedy, Funny Ideas, Quick Laughs, WTF Stuff, bvllets, mit3. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.