Pennsylvania Commandments.
I went fishing in Pennsylvania this weekend. It was all good except for the tick episodes which I will write later. We went to this place on the side of the road and I took this picture because I found it so amazing.
So this is a sign at a place in Pennsylvania. Let me tell you what this place had. It was basically a hotel with an electronics store/restaurant/taco bell/clothier/barista/pizza hut/church thing in it. I wasn’t surprised in the Pennsylvania store model. We all know they also have a furrier and a custom drapery business in the back. Pennsylvania does it all. I was however surprised by the church. They broke the commandments of creating a church in Pennsylvania. Let me show you them.
1. Thou shalt not start thine Pennsylvania church ceremony at 1:15. This during thy devils hour.
This is obvious. Nobody but degenerates wake later than 12pm. Trust me, I wake up at 2 sometimes.
2. Thou shalt not build a church inside a restaurant. Churches should handle no appetites.
Who was ever hungry at church? That shit made me sick.
3. Thou shalt not go through thy effort of building a church inside a restaurant inside a truck stop.
Do I need to explain this one?
4. Thou shalt not advertise thine church on 8.5” x 11” sheets of paper printed off a bubble jet 590c from 1992 and taped to a window in a crooked fashion.
They didn’t handle the information age too well and this was recently outlawed. Who knows, maybe they were cool about mimiographs or photocopies before that. You know, handmade shit.
5. Thou shalt not place false methamphetamines within thine church for truck drivers to purchase to get thy jollies off.
Jesus wants all the meth and false meth to himself. Let him get it from his underground sources in Malaysia.
Yikes. This shit really exists. Anyone else know any rules this place might be breaking?