Airports are the best. Not the best in any scholarly type of way, but diversity wise. Flying on a plane is not restricted to just the rich, slutty or homosexual anymore. Flying is now a god-given right to all Americans. At least that’s what I’m assuming from my last airport experience.

My last airport experience was full of delays. I can’t complain about delays because my flight + delays is still about 5 times faster than any other way for me to get to where I’m going. It’s the least of all travel evils. So i’m sitting at the bar and i’m drinking a beer to pass the time (or get drunk), and someone sits next to me. Instantly a conversation starts.

Foreigner - Is that a Bud Light?

Me - No it’s a RedBull and Bacardi. Real good guess though.

Foreigner - That’s weird because it’s yellow like beer. How’s it going?

Me - I’m missing some great hockey and my flight is delayed 3 hours but other than that i’m ok. Just so you know in the future, ice in the glass usually means it’s not a beer.

Foreigner - I’m good, I had some great time off in Florida. I ate at the Outback Steakhouse a few times.

Me - Word, I was listening to music on my headphones and texting on my phone in case you didn’t notice. I’m not really in the mood to talk. I’m actually in the mood for not talking.

Foreigner - Yeah, i’m a Cardinals fan personally, i’m not one for the Mets.

Me - Oh, thanks for pointing out my hat and my choice of sports teams. I almost forgot who I liked and cheered for on a daily basis.

Foreigner - I’m a driver at UPS. I’ve been there 23 years and I have 6 weeks vacation as well as a 401k.

Me - Really? Did you already have Cerebral Palsy or did they give you that too?

Foreigner - Way before this I was a sales rep at a chalk company in Long Island.

Me - Interesting.

Foreigner - I am married with 4 kids now, 3 boys and a girl. The old wife can be a pain in the ass but it’s really everything I ever dreamed of.

Me - That’s nice. Everything I ever dreamed of is nothing i’ve experienced of because i’m not dead yet. I plan on dreaming everything I ever dreamed of as soon as i’m dead.

Foreigner - Blerrr federda bledeuysu derf fad erssa gerus.

Me - Yeah, I have my headphones on and I can’t really hear you. Nice talking to you though. Take care.

Foreigner - *Waves*

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 28th, 2007 at 1:54 pm and is filed under Comedy, Situational Humor, bvllets. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.