The Divine Marinara.
Sometimes I get some first hand news that nobody else gets. This is definately the case today as I have just received word from our most connected contact. Myself.
After the closing of the Olympics, all of the atheletes proceeded to go back to their respected countries and celebrate their victories or agonize about their defeat. Embracing his Gold Medal, unbridled celebration was the case for Shaun “The Flying Tomato” White. On the Transatlantic flight, Shaun was on top of the world. Well, he was at least above the world in an airplane. Not liking the end of the pilots qualifying run, “The Flying Tomato” decided to enter the cockpit and “Trick out that air pony with some gnarly stunts”. After trying to pull a backside 1080 to fakie at 25,000 feet, the plane almost immediately crashed into Edison, New Jersey. He admitted to the airtower during the tailspin that “He was totally stoked to get behind the yoke of such a totally monster jet and that he was just totally trying to have a good time”. Shaun’s remains have been identified by dental records as his face was intact and undamaged. The rest of him however, is a gruesome site. WTFis acquired some pictures of Shaun “The Flying Tomato” White after this magnificent crash.
Before
*After - Warning…This is Gruesome
As you can see, “The Flying Tomato” has been “Totally Cuisinarted” in this crash. We send out condolences to the survivors of the White family for their loss. We also send out grated parmesan cheese and crushed red peppers to the Italians enjoying Shaun “The Divine Marinara” White in Edison, NJ.