If you live in New York City or go there occasionally, i’m sure you’ve had a New York Style slice of cheese pizza. Since these are a little more minimal on the flavor than most other cities pizzas, they give out extra condiments to put on the cheese slice to make it more satiating. There are 6 common condiments.

Parmesan Cheese - A must.
Crushed Red Peppers - A little goes a long way. Especially when it comes out your ass.
Italian Seasoning - Not a whole lot of flavor. I do it for the look really.
Garlic Powder - Load it on. Just load it on.
Black Pepper - I have no idea.
Salt - Some sick fuck decided pizza wasn’t salty enough.

The condiments are placed by the napkins and straws n shit. Pretty much where you’d find ketchup at a french fry saloon. What really has been getting to me lately are the people who order a slice or two, then take the condiments to their table like they own them. It’s complete and utter disregard for the system of putting on a fucking topping and leaving it for someone else to use. Why the fuck do you think you own the damn condiments? Put it on, leave it there. It’s totally fucking simple.

If you do this and someone walks up and grabs the garlic powder and says “Excuse me, do you own this?”, rest assured it’s me.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 11th, 2006 at 6:06 pm and is filed under Comedy, NYC Humor, Quick Laughs, bvllets. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.