I would like to write some letters to address our neighbors all around the compass.

Dear Upstairs Neighbors,
What are you fucking all wearing leg casts? Who the hell doesnt bend their knees that much. It sounds like you’re fucking blacksmithing up there. This is not a racial remark. If it sounded like it, I apologize. But Seriously, bend your fucking knees when you walk.

Dear Neighbors of the East,
You really freaked me out when you tried to sell me your girlfriends old Gucci purse. It would have been alot easier for me to not dislike you if you didn’t parade around the town trying to pawn her purse, then try to dump it off at my house so I could “hold” it because she got home and you didn’t want to get busted selling her purse. Glad I made you go home. Sorry about that. Not really. At all.

Dear Neighbors of the West,
I really actually enjoy hearing the phrase “Fuck You”. Alot more than your average person, thats for sure. The problem, is that you say it every 4 seconds on Saturday mornings while wrestling each other into your appliances. I don’t care if that’s how you roll, I care. It’s not that I care, it’s that I really care. I know I can’t kick your ass, so I hope you both get other peoples mail.

Dear Neighbors of the South,
Suck it up, go fuck yourself and write a note like I did.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 15th, 2006 at 11:47 pm and is filed under bvllets, Comedy, Quick Laughs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.