While eating my Nissin Chicken Cup Noodles (Evidently they’re just Cup Noodles and not Cup of or Cup O’ Noodles. You’d think with a budget to put an advertisement in Times Square they’d at least get someone to help them out with some grammar.) and i’m watching these little Freeze Dried Vegetables float around. Appetizing yes, but it reminds me of a story. Here goes.

A good friend of mine worked at a record store for about 9 months or so. Christmas was coming up and love was in the air. On his last day he worked before Xmas, his boss (The owner) called him into his office and proceeded to give him a present. This is what will go down as the worst Christmas present in history. He gave him an 8 oz container of freeze dried peas, corn, carrots, tomatoes and bell peppers and said Merry Christmas. The guy was Indian, but still. That’s just fucking wrong. I think you’re better off giving nothing at all. What’s even more fucked up it is when I search Google for it, the first result for the product is at a Bird Food website. No lie, here it is.

This is the copy from the bird feed site, and I quote.

“These crunchy, delightful snacks are a healthy addition to your bird`s diet. Harvest fresh vegetables are quickly freeze-dried, preserving their luscious flavors and nutrients. Completely natural…absolutely nothing added. Includes carrots, corn, peas, tomatoes and bell peppers.”

Thats fucked up right? The only other comparison I can think of for worst Christmas present was my other friend who got Gravy Master from his Grandmother but he’s been getting that every year so it’s more of a tradition than something fucked up. I mean, who doesn’t want Gravy Master year after year? She’s wise beyond her years.

Post your worst Christmas present story in the comment section. Either that or your list for Santa

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 4th, 2005 at 1:17 pm and is filed under bvllets, Comedy, Quick Laughs, True Funny Stories. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.