Dear Ebay,

Please stop sending me emails about your promotions, sales, ideas and hot fashionable shoes for women by Manolo Blahnik. It’s becoming a problem for me to resist your monetary love. I don’t mean to sound defensive, but I don’t want to sell everything I have right now. I know sometime it will be right. I know I teased you with high priced goods but those days are over. I’ve moved and the truth is I needed the money to move. It’s wasn’t cocaine; yet. I’m still waiting for my first time until i’m married. I need to keep these with me for at least another few nights of drinking, I mean, housewarming parties. Ok so it’s true I should probably pick up the boxes, but the parties are too much fun. I love your apartment! Thanks. It’s uhm not ours. Somewhat proud of renting can’t you tell. So then we’re supposed to pay rent for this place. What a joke! We don’t own it! Which is why I might need to sell some high valued goods again. Really, free bold and thumbnail views are about the best features of Ebay but really, please, stop sending them. I don’t need to be selling my $270 Mink and PVC Roberto Cavalli Codpiece anytime soon.

Ornamentally Horticulturally Yours,

bvllets

This entry was posted on Friday, September 2nd, 2005 at 12:26 am and is filed under Comedy, Funny Ideas, Quick Laughs, bvllets. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.