Poison Ivy.
So i’m thinking about how I just got over a case of Poison Ivy the other day. Man that shit rots. Last time I got it at least it was because I was getting a blowjob in the woods while I was camped out on the beach. Every time I looked at it after that I was like, you know what, that bj was worth it. If it was a handjob, prolly not. Anyways the point is I had it before so I identified it fairly quickly. I did my typical re-research and re-learned it’s caused by Urishol on the leaves. (Hey, I forget alot of shit) I must have got Urishol on my jeans while playing cowboys and indians on Fire Island. Ok so fine, we were playing run from the explosives. I didn’t get it til like 2 weeks later too. Next thing I know it’s like BAM! all over my leg. Poison fucking Ivy. Now, in case you haven’t ever had it, this motherfucking shit motherfucking itches like a motherfucking cocksucking motherfucker. So i’m thinking of things that aren’t associated with itching trying not to itch it. Mind over matter. Then it hits me. Let’s use Urishol to have fun. Here is a list of things that Urishol would be fun to put on.
Aerosmith Tickets
Tucks Medicated Pads
Tom’s of Maine Toothpaste
Seats at Nascar Events
Guns
Anything made by Von Dutch
This is only the tip of the iceberg. Put your poison ivy stories and or reccomendations for Urishol placement in the comment section. Or not.
June 30th, 2005 at 12:26 am
lets see……..first off, fire island holds some fond memories of choke fucking for me, so i figured id get that off my chest from the jump….now, uses for poison ivy:
any douching product/sex toy used by your gf (just think, now you dont have to stick your dick in that beat up rotten twat for weeks).
bumper stickers that make absolutely no sense.
hotel bibles
michael jackson (wait for the cock grab and you have hours of laughter)
terry schiavos rotting corpse
all new coldplay cds (poison ivy is worth the 15$ you paid for the biggest produced turd, since 50 cents new cd. Really, I
June 30th, 2005 at 12:27 am
enjoy music that makes me want to do H and slit my wrists in an alleyway while getting a bj from some hooker with scurvy……
June 30th, 2005 at 12:33 am
You really got something with the Hotel Bibles. Thats fucking gnarly gnarl
July 1st, 2005 at 12:41 pm
i was bent over like a dog in the backyard like 2 months ago, and a few days later i noticed a spot on my arm. so obviously i scratched it. looked like a mosquito bite. then it fuckin spread EVERYWHERE; on my snapper, on my bum, stomach legs, fingers, everywhere. it was brutal.
so of course i tried to give handjobs to as many people as i could, to share the wealth.